[ Up-tempo instrumental music plays ]
- Casey? - Yeah.
I've made a decision.
What is it?
- It's time. - It is?
It's time.
Natalie!
It's absolutely time.
We've been having some very bizarr e computer problems. Have you noticed that?
The LC wir e's been getting numbers wrong.
What do you need?
Messersmith won the gold medal in the pole vault
with a leap of 238 f eet, 6 inches?
That doesn't sound right.
Yeah, it lacks a ring of truth, yes.
238 f eet, 6 inches in the pole vault.
That'd be a r ecord, wouldn't it?
Yes, it would.
Elliott!
- Why ar e you staring at me? - Because it's time.
- It's not time. - It is time.
- It's past time. - It's not past time.
It's well past time. You need to start meeting women.
- I've met many women. - No, you haven't.
No, you haven't met many women. That's why I'm her e.
Oh, boy. I like the sound of this.
You got married at 23 to a woman you met when you wer e 19.
I know. I was ther e.
- So you agr ee. - To what?
You agr ee that it's time.
You said it was past time.
- Well, it is past time. - Then I'm scr ewed.
I'm gonna help you out.
Oh, thank God f or that, Danny.
- Thank God, indeed. - Indeed I do.
- Do you know why I can help you out? - Why?
'Cause ther e's still time.
60 seconds to VTR, 2 minutes live.
Loading effects BF 4.
Pr eview animation 1, 1A, and 4.
BF 4 - Boston f oxhole.
- Jeremy? - Yes.
Tell me the story so f ar on UCLA/Arizona.
The story, Dana, is shooting percentage.
Shooting percentage and off ensive glass.
Last I checked, UCLA was 12-f or-24 f rom the field, 1 -f or-6 at the stripe.
Arizona's pr ess f orced 12 turnovers, which led to 15 points.
The 'cats, needless to say, wer e dominant in the paint, and McDuffy's got f our f ouls.
- That is the story. - Jer emy?
- Yes. - What's the score?
- Wow. - Jer emy?
Devil's in the details.
- Jer emy... - 66-50, Arizona.
- Thank you. - No problem.
Stand by, audio. Stand by, VTR.
Pr eview 6 and 16.
Will, let me hear sound eff ect 7. Just me.
Her e we go.
- Roll VTR. - Good show, everybody.
The time is right, Casey. The time is now.
- You strike while the iron is hot. - What iron?
The iron. You'r e gonna strike it.
- Because it's hot right now? - Scorching hot.
- Okay. - It is.
Uh, Natalie, can I get a r e-cal time on 7?
1:20, but we've got wiggle room.
How much?
- How much? Lee Tr evino. - On 7?
Casey, don't make a meal out of it.
- How much? - 5 seconds. You go to 10, and I kick your ass.
You ever hear of artistic f r eedom?
You ever hear of me kicking your ass?
- Yes, I have. - Five seconds.
- 15 live. - A lot's changed since you've been out ther e.
Out wher e?
Ther e - out ther e.
Wher e the women ar e.
Everybody still wears shoes, right?
Ha! Do they ever.
In 3... 2...
Good evening. From New York City,
I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell.
Those stories, plus we'll show why if you haven't seen Davis Love play Pebble Beach,
then you haven't seen Shakespear e the way it was meant to be played.
College hoops? You want college hoops?
How about Syracuse, New York,
wher e the Orangemen blew the roof off the Carrier Dome?
How about Oklahoma, wher e the corn's not the only thing high as an elephant's eye?
All that coming up after this.
You'r e watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around.
We'r e out.
90 seconds back.
You know the biggest diff er ence?
Biggest diff er ence between what?
Biggest diff er ence between women then and women now.
What?
You'r e on television.
Stand by.
[ Knock on door ] Isaac: Come on in.
[ Door opens ]
- You wanted to see me. - Yes. Sit down.
I got a note. It said you wanted to see me.
Yeah. Have a seat.
- Is anything wrong? - No. Sit down.
- You never send me a note. - I usually call your office.
Yes, or you have Marsha find me
or you grab me at the rundown and say, "Can I see you?"
Why don't you have a seat?
- But this time you sent me a note. - Please sit.
It said you needed to see me.
Dana, I need to move my day along just a little bit f aster than this.
I'm just saying if this is gonna be bad news, I'd like to sit.
- Feel f r ee. - Thank you.
I want to start grooming you.
- I don't understand. - You heard me.
- You want to start grooming me? - Yes.
- You better be talking about my hairstyle, Isaac. - Don't go nuts.
I am not going nuts, I'm just saying that's the only kind of grooming
that I'm pr epar ed to talk about at this particular moment.
Was ther e anything else?
When the time comes,
I want the show to go wher e I want the show to go,
and I want the show to go to you.
- Isaac... - I'm not f ooling around, Dana.
Fine. Then we'll have this conversation 15 years f rom now. Is ther e anything else?
You want to be in a position wher e it's a smart choice f or Luther to make.
I don't want to position myself.
You'r e gonna start coming to the monthly lunches at Continental Corp.
- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are.
How do you know I even want your job?
Everybody wants my job.
Not me. I think your job stinks.
You get to cr eate your own show and make all the decisions
and have a big staff and make a lot of money.
That's not f or me, Isaac.
I like to answer to people. I don't want to cr eate.
- When I get a thought in my head, I like it to die right ther e. - [ Chuckles ]
These monthly lunches -
When you hir ed me - when you hir ed me -
didn't you swear that you wer en't going to leave?
You did. I r emember you swearing. You swor e.
I'm talking about down the line.
- How f ar down the line? - Far.
Then stop sending me notes.
Dana, that was a near-death experience at Christmas.
I don't think I've ever seen Luther so mad.
You embarrassed him on television. He'll get over it.
He may get over it, but he certainly won't f orget it.
Look, he yelled, he screamed, but he didn't fire you.
If he was gonna fir e you, he'd have fir ed you.
You don't fir e a black ex ecutive
during a race-r elated public-r elations problem.
You wait awhile.
See? That's the kind of thing I don't know.
So, you know, stop grooming.
Start coming with me to the lunches and to the budget meetings.
What ar e you gonna do if you don't work her e?
I've been thinking a lot about gardening.
Gardening?
I think I'd like to try organic gardening.
Do you even know what it is?
- No, but I was gonna get a book. - Good plan.
Let's keep this our little secr et.
I shouldn't tell anyone that you'r e grooming me?
You shouldn't tell anyone I'm grooming you.
What if people ask?
- Dana... - No, I'm serious.
What if someone asks a dir ect question about the grooming?
- Dana, I'm serious. - All right.
All right. I won't tell anyone that you'r e grooming me.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
[ Telephones ringing ]
He wants to groom me.
- What'd you say? - I said I didn't want to be groomed.
I said everybody her e is very happy with the jobs they have right now.
Right?
- Sur e. Yeah. - Natalie...
You'r e thinking about how you'd r edecorate my office right now, ar en't you?
I was not!
- Yes, you wer e. - I was totally not at all.
In your little mind, you wer e measuring f or new curtains.
I was not measuring f or curtains.
- You'd keep the curtains? - And dump the plants.
Thank you.
You are wrong.
- No, I'm not. - You want to make a bet?
I don't want to take your money.
They wer en't gonna play Virginia in the next round.
They wer e gonna play Louisiana Tech.
You wer e gonna play Louisiana Tech.
No, we wer e gonna play Clemson. That's when I injur ed my ankle.
It was your knee, and it was against Louisiana Tech.
Oh.
This is my ankle.
No doubt about it.
It was injur ed playing Clemson.
Came out of it okay.
- You think? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What have we her e? - Hello, Dan.
Sally, put your leg on the floor.
I was telling Casey
that I injur ed my ankle against Clemson.
- It was your knee. - It was my ankle.
And you see how you wer e able to tell me that without taking all your clothes off?
I just assume you do that in your head.
I'll see you later, Casey.
Dan's gonna want to warn you about me.
Bye.
[ Indistinct voices ]
What wer e you just doing?
Nothing.
- You wer e flirting. - No, we weren't.
- You wer e flirting with Sally. - I wasn't conscious of it.
- Conscious or not, you wer e doing it. - Was Sally flirting with me?
Yes, indeed she was.
I missed the whole thing.
Thank God I got her e when I did.
I'm not gonna go out with Sally.
You don't have to go out with her.
She was stripping down right her e.
We wer e talking about women's college basketball.
Oh, Casey, please.
- I'm not other people. - I know.
And I know I said it was time,
but just to be clear about something - it's not time f or that.
- It's not time to dally with Sally. - Dan...
That was an unf ortunate rhyme, but still.
What's your problem with Sally?
Look at her.
I don't think she's of this world.
- You don't think she's of this world? - I do not.
What world do you think she's of?
She scar es me. She's too good-looking.
Nobody's that good-looking. I'm not that good-looking.
Do you r eally think she was flirting with me?
And her beauty comes f rom a very strange place.
Have you noticed that?
The places her beauty comes f rom wer en't that strange to me.
I can identify almost all of them.
Don't do it, Casey. She's got an agenda.
You think she wants a job on "Sports Night"?
No, I think she wants to rule all of Metropolis.
You see the job she does on "West Coast Update." She's a very skilled producer.
Of course she's skilled. She's Satan's handmaiden.
She's not Satan's handmaiden.
On the entir e planet, have you ever seen anyone with eyes like that?
Huh? She's a Stepf ord producer.
I say she's a very nice person.
I say she has no r eflection.
You ar e worrying about nothing.
She wasn't flirting with me, I wasn't flirting with her.
It's a well-oiled machine her e.
I don't want to see anything interf er e with that.
Did a high school girl f rom East Lansing
run the Boston Marathon in 2.6 seconds?
That doesn't sound right.
Not as well-oiled as you think.
[ Computer beeping, keys clicking ]
See? It says, "-1 SM trunc err."
You should r eally call technical support.
But I like it when you fix it. It's so cute and... nerdy.
I could just lick you up.
This is a serious computer problem.
I don't want to f ool around with it. Call technical support.
What does "err" mean?
It means a mistake.
Is it Latin?
It's English.
It's "E-R-R." It means "error."
- Call technical support. - "-1 SM trunc" - what does it mean?
- Natalie... - Come on!
Just one.
[ Telephones ringing ]
It means the truncation indicator alone is wider
than the specified width.
It probably also indicates a -5-type SCP,
which is an invalid queue element.
Okay.
[ Exhales deeply ]
And it says "-15 out of range." What does that mean?
That means it's out of range.
- Oh, you'r e not doing this right! - What the hell are we doing?
Well, I thought we wer e having phone sex,
but I guess you just wer en't inter ested.
- We wer e having phone sex? - Well, not phone sex,
but whatever - we wer e having sex.
- I didn't even know. - And f rankly, it showed up in your perf ormance.
I wasn't having sex.
I know that, Jer emy. I was sitting her e having sex all by myself.
- You wer e having sex. - Yes!
Well, I think maybe you'r e not doing it right.
Call technical support.
Hello, Isaac.
Hello, Sally.
Sharp suit.
Thanks, Sally.
No, I mean it. That is a sharp suit.
Thanks again.
- Who makes that suit? - Well, I have no idea.
Is it Armani?
Uh, no - honestly, I have no idea.
Could be Hugo Boss.
You never know.
But either way, it's a very sharp suit.
I'm awf ully happy with it. Thanks.
Sur e.
Sally?
Yes.
What do you want?
Ar e you quitting your job?
- No. - You'r e not?
- No. - I heard you wer e.
- You heard wrong. - I keep my ear to the ground.
- I have no doubt about it. - And I'm happy for Dana.
- She'll be glad to hear it. - Can I be blunt?
As evidence has suggested, you'r e capable of it, yes.
I think I'm the right person f or the job.
- Whose job? - Dana's job.
- Dana wants Dana's job. - No, Dana's gonna have your job.
No, sadly, I'm gonna have my job.
I want to ex ecutive-produce "Sports Night."
- May I give you my cr edentials? - I see no way of stopping you.
I've been ex ecutive producer of "West Coast Update" f or 16 months.
Our show has never f ailed to win its time slot.
You'r e on at 2:00 A.M., Sally.
Your competition is a "Bonanza" r erun and f our guys making cheese.
To say nothing of Fox on Sports and CNN/Sl,
both of which wer e on top of us to the tune of a shar e point bef or e I came in.
My shows ar e tight, my shows ar e hot,
and my shows ar e paced to within an inch of their lives.
My staff is prof essional, and they place a pr emium on prof essionalism.
My staff is prof essional, Sally.
As we speak, one of your LC wir ef rames is misprocessing data
while two of your associate producers stand over the monitor,
attempting to have phone sex.
God, people don't tell me which two.
Just think about it.
All right. My guess is it's Jer emy and Natalie.
I meant think about me f or the job.
- Dana's job. - Yes.
- When Dana takes my job. - Yes.
And tell me again what I'll be doing.
I heard organic gardening.
- You can leave now. - Sharp suit.
Thank you very much.
Good evening. From New York City,
I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell.
Those stories, plus we've got a major league baseball trade
that brought some birds home to roost.
- [ Snaps fingers ] That's you. - What?
Major league baseball trade that brought some birds home to roost, and then you say...
Yoko Ono.
- Really? - Yes.
Okay, but it might be better to say something about hockey.
- I'm gonna fix you up with Yoko Ono. - I don't think so.
- Yeah. I r eally am. - No, you're really not.
- Ar e you concerned about the age diff er ence? - Do you even know Yoko Ono?
I'm a f an of her music, yes.
A major league baseball trade that brought some birds home to roost.
You can get away with that if you want, but it's not "birds," it's "chickens."
Do you r eally think Dana was flirting with me?
- Dana? - Sally.
You said Dana.
- I meant Sally. - Stop thinking about Sally.
I'm not thinking about Sally.
This is science fiction.
I'm all alone on this. I stand completely alone.
Sally is an alien. Do you understand me?
At night she peels off her body and lives on Steve Guttenburg's boat.
- And you can't get anybody to rally around that theory? - My point is, you said Dana.
Hey, pigeons roost, don't they?
- Yes. - So what's wrong with "birds"?
What's wrong with the unmistakable human f railty of Yoko Ono?
Uh, Dana?
You'r e still 1:20 f at in the 40s.
We'r e getting ther e. Can I say, "Birds come home to roost"?
Yeah, I saw that.
- Can I say it? - It's "chickens."
Well, I think it's also pigeons.
[ Telephone ringing ] Do pigeons roost?
- I think they do. - I think they perch.
I think they roost.
Look, it's fine with me.
Hey, you know what?
I think someone was flirting with me today.
I'm sorry?
Someone might have been flirting with me today.
Sally?
How did you know?
Sally's always flirting with you.
- No, she's not. - Yes, she is.
It's okay.
I wasn't flirting back.
You'r e kind of f eeble, ar en't you?
- Well, have I? - I r eally don't know.
- I don't want to look f oolish. - Not much chance of that.
Do I flirt badly?
- You flirt fine. - Seriously.
- You flirt fine. - Dana...
Flirt with me now.
Flirt with you now.
Yes.
I will.
Start.
How you doin'?
[ Laughs ]
That's good, Casey. How many years of college?
I've got mor e. I'm just saying hi.
Lay it on me.
What's your name?
Casey, I'm saying flirt with me.
I'm not playing somebody else.
- You'r e not helping. - Start again.
Flirt with me.
I'm starting... now.
[ Inhales deeply ]
What's your name?
My name's Dana, you unbelievable moron. You've known me f or 15 years.
Flirt with me.
Tell me why you like me better than Sally.
I do like you better than Sally.
- Tell me why. - I don't understand.
I don't think you'r e ever going to have sex again.
I got to go.
You'r e smoky.
I'm sorry?
The diff er ence between you and Sally - you'r e smoky.
I'm smoky?
You'r e smoky.
You'r e a lot of other things, too, but you'r e smoky.
I don't know what that means, but I like the sound of it. Tell me what it means.
- No, it's hard to translate. - Try.
You'll make a joke.
We'r e flirting. It's okay.
Ar e we r eally flirting,
or ar e you just pr etending to be you flirting with me actually being me?
You think I'm smoky?
Classy, impr essive, sexy -
Was sexy going too f ar?
l-lt was fine.
You'r e smoky.
Thank you.
Uh, Natalie, wait up.
I'm sorry. I've got to talk to Natalie.
Uh... [ Bottle clatters ]
that's fine.
We'r e on the air in very... soon,
and... Natalie's ther e.
- Okay. - So...
- I'll see you later. - Yeah. In just a little bit, in f act.
- 'Cause we'r e going on the air. - And you'r e okay with birds roosting?
I'm okay with... birds doing anything you tell them to.
[ Indistinct voices ]
Wer e you two flirting?
- No. - You wer e.
We wer e, but it was a r ehearsal of sorts.
It was a... class.
If you guys ar en't too f ar along, could Jer emy join?
Sur e.
Isaac, you got a minute?
Kim, Elliott, how can I help you?
[ Exhales deeply ]
I'm a team player, Isaac.
Always have been, always will be.
But everyone here moves up one notch and you make this woman senior associate,
I'll lead a mutiny the likes of which will sink this show f or good.
Okay.
Kim?
When I get Natalie's job, is ther e a union r egulation
that pr events me f rom making Elliott my man slave?
All right. That's it.
Follow me.
I'm saying it!
- Let's just f orget about it. - I'm saying it right now!
Far be it f rom me to be adventur esome in our sex lif e!
Thanks very much, f olks. Be sur e and tip your waitr esses.
Dan, Casey, Dana, Jeremy, Natalie -
in the conf er ence room, right now.
What's going on?
In ther e.
[ Telephone ringing ]
Sally, why don't you join us as well?
What ar e we doing?
We'r e having a little meeting.
- Is this what I think it is? - Probably not.
[ Telephone ringing ]
Good evening. How ar e you all?
[ All talking indistinctly ]
Oh, who r eally gives a damn?
My name is Isaac Jaff ee. I run this place.
Anybody else who runs this place, please raise your hand.
Good. Couple of things.
I am not quitting, and I am not getting fir ed,
at least not today and probably not tomorrow.
Let me add, Dana,
that things that I say in my office stay in my office.
Natalie's my - my second in command. She's the only one I told.
Jer emy's my boyf riend. He's the only one I told.
I told many, many people.
Elliott, Kim,
the production team is, in f act, a team,
and you will work with and f or whomever Dana tells you to.
- Thank you. - Shut up.
Okay.
Finally, I'd like to say
that while ther e ar e many programs her e at CSC,
and ther e's nothing wrong with healthy competition,
we ar e all a f amily,
and we ar e to tr eat each other with prof essional r espect.
I think I can speak f or everyone on the "West Coast Update" team
when I say we have nothing but r espect
f or each and every man and woman who works on "Sports Night."
He's talking about you, you f r eak.
Thank you, Daniel.
I hope this meeting has cleared up any conf usion.
It's 5 minutes to 11:00.
Please go do my show.
Stand by, audio. Stand by, VTR.
Pr eview 3 and 13.
- Her e's 3. - 13 is standing.
Get me Holly in L.A.
He said you wer e smoky?
Yes, he did.
Holly.
Holly, you wer e right.
It's 14 points off the f ast br eak, and send it back to the studio.
I like that.
- Smoky? - Yes.
- It was very complimentary. - It was very complimentary?
- Yes. - Well, how good of you to come to tea.
Hey, I talk the way I talk. I'm smoky.
Roll the VTR.
We'r e live in 60.
Good show, everybody.
Good show.
Casey said she's smoky.
She is smoky.
- Am I smoky? - You better believe it.
I'll tell you what else you ar e. You ar e a slow drink of whiskey.
Say some computer things - right now.
Listen, seriously, those new herbs you've been taking - I think you should stop.
I'm a slow drink of whiskey?
Among other things, yes.
Pr eview 6 and 6A.
It wasn't flirting. It wasn't actual flirting.
- I don't like you going off on your own like this. - I know.
You have to listen to what I tell you.
I am.
You could be having sex with Yoko Ono right now.
Please don't ever say that again.
- I've made a decision. - What's that?
I don't think it's time.
In 3... 2...
Good evening. From New York City,
I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell.
Those stories, plus a major league baseball trade
that brought some birds home to roost.
The ACC was the place to be in college hoops last night,
and we'll take you to the Dean Dome
after a quick stop in the land of Lincoln.
You'r e watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around.
We're out.
[ Indistinct voices ]
- All right, guys. That was gr eat. - Thank you.
So what do I hear about you and Yoko Ono? What's up with that?
Move along, buddy.
Yoko?